ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Liz Alterman
Liz Alterman is the author of the memoir, Sad Sacked, the domestic suspense novel, The Perfect Neighborhood, and the young adult thriller, He’ll Be Waiting. Her essays have appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, and on the backs of cocktail napkins and CVS receipts. For more, visit lizalterman.com.
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February 9, 2024Middle-Aged Concertgoer Mad Libs
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March 19, 202124 Surprising Ways to Injure Yourself When You’re Over 50
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January 22, 2021Llama Llama Remote-Learning Drama
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August 18, 2020Writers’ Tweets Translated
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January 10, 2020Lies My Yoga Pants Have Told Me
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September 8, 201916 Surprising Ways to Injure Yourself When You’re Over 40
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner