The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Jack Loftus
Jack Loftus is an associate creative director, writer, and fledgling cartoonist living outside of Boston, MA. He’s contributed to McSweeney’s, Weekly Humorist, Gizmodo, and, shamelessly, his personal site jackloftus.com.
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August 8, 2024A New Hope Spreads Across a Galaxy Far, Far Away—Here’s Why That’s a Big Problem for the Republic
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May 29, 2013I’m Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, King of the Fucking Sea
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February 19, 2013Instagram Filters Inspired by My Parents’ Reaction to Yet Another Return Home as a Single Man Who Has Still Not Enrolled In Graduate School
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September 27, 2011Denny’s Research & Development Team Leader Doesn’t Have Time For Your Shit
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May 11, 2011A Hoth Realtor Addresses Some of the Concerns Being Raised Over His Decision to Turn Han Solo’s Deceased Tauntaun Into a Modest Studio Apartment
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April 13, 2011The Washington Post Inadvertently Publishes My Online Dating Profile with the Editor’s Notes Still Included
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December 14, 2010The Word Dude Reflects On Its Steady Decline from Keeping Company with Rakish 19th Century Dandies to Its Demeaning Modern Day Role as Filler for Light Beer Commercials
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
Recently
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January 20, 2025Welcome Home, President Nyarlathotep
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January 17, 2025Who Said It: Donald Trump or Martin Luther King Jr.?
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January 17, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Annie Leibovitz
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January 17, 2025It’s About Time Our Government Finally Reflects the Real America—An Airport Terminal at 10 a.m. on a Weekday