McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon at $10/month (or more) and receive a coupon for a discount on the Decorative Gourd Beanie, Gourd mugs, and our glorious new Advent Calendar. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Articles by
Jacob Rosenberg
-
April 19, 2019God, Does the Land of Milk and Honey Also Have Oat Milk?
-
February 8, 2019Dude, Remember the Time We Remembered College?
-
June 22, 2018Sorry, But Your Loved One’s Murder Wasn’t Quite Interesting Enough to Be Solved By Our Podcast
-
September 29, 2017Acknowledgements Page for My Awesome Reply to a Trump Tweet
-
April 14, 2017The Modern Confessions of St. Augustine
-
October 6, 2016A College Applicant’s Love Letter
-
February 22, 2016Jeb Bush Drafts a Cover Letter
-
November 20, 2015The Only Thing Stopping Me from Making This Hamburger Helper is a Crippling Fear of Failure
-
September 11, 2015The Kid Who Talks Too Much Daydreams About the First Day of Class
-
August 17, 2015We Are Now At the Point In This Argument Where I Realize I Am Wrong
Trending 🔥
-
October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
-
September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
-
August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
-
October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
Recently
-
November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
-
November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
-
November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
-
October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner