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Articles by
Jamie Allen
Jamie Allen is a writer based in Los Angeles and the creator of the Squirrel Census.
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May 28, 2021What to Expect at the Upcoming Big Gathering of People in Your Neighborhood
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March 12, 2019Caveman Rejection Letters
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January 17, 2017Letter from John Lewis’s Fifth Congressional District of Hell
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February 18, 2014The Wolf of Writing Street
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October 31, 2013Common Household Ghosts
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July 16, 2013We Are a Creative Agency Specializing in All Your Branding Needs
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September 17, 2012Top Behavior Problems in Dogs
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September 24, 2010Animal House
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May 6, 2010Exercise Fad: Kid Crossfit
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October 21, 2009Five Other Activities During Which Texting Can Be Dangerous
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June 19, 2009Conversations I Imagine My 10-Year-Old and 7-Year-Old Have About Me When They See Each Other in the Hallway at School
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June 6, 2008My Campaign Speech to My Parents
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally