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Articles by
Jonathan Zeller
Jonathan Zeller is a writer, editor, and comedian who’s contributed to National Lampoon, the New York Times, and Teen Vogue.
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January 14, 2025One Upside of the Total Collapse of Civilization Is We Don’t Have to Be Woke Anymore
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November 19, 2024I Just Found Out That the Serving Size Is Ten Almonds, But I’ll Eat as Many as I Want
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September 24, 2024Book Review: The Great Gatsby by the Xerox 914 Photocopier
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June 26, 2024Calm Down—Your Phone Isn’t Listening to Your Conversations. It’s Just Tracking Everything You Type, Every App You Use, Every Website You Visit, and Everywhere You Go in the Physical World
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November 3, 2023The All-Time Best Moments from America’s Got Lettuce
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February 13, 2023Introducing Total Crap, the First Magazine Written Entirely by AI
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September 10, 2021Ted Lasso Is a Shining Example of Kindness and Decency, and Critics Who Disagree Should Burn in Hell Forever
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May 27, 2021An Oral History of the Interstitial Ska Music on Friends
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October 17, 2019My Biggest Regrets About Retiring at 24
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December 18, 2018You Had Mail
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August 15, 2018How to Handle Anxiety About the Toxic Sludge Filling Your Bedroom
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June 19, 2018Eleven Things You Definitely Don’t Know About Nirvana, You Idiot
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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March 31, 2025Son, I Forbid You to Join That Rowdy, No-Good Zorba the Greek Fan Club
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu
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March 27, 2025We Are the People Who Buy Red Delicious Apples