ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
José Avelino Gilles Corbett Lourenço
When José is not winning impractically large ribbons for his butter tarts at Canada’s Royal Winter Fair, he is writing and directing things. JAGCL.com.
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February 17, 202017 Timeless Presidential Quotes About Your Bathroom Renovation
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May 7, 2019Hi, It’s Me, the App You’ve Never Used That’s Still Billing You
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November 16, 2015I Will Always Love You, But Can I Please Have My Stuff Back?
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August 18, 2011Fire!
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August 2, 2010I Have Mixed Feelings About the Hypnosis Therapy Prescribed for My Anxiety
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August 17, 2005“Save Our Forests” Symposium, Day 1: Opening Remarks
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May 13, 2004An Open Letter to My New and Old Furnaces
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April 12, 2004Short Essays on Favorite Songs, Inspired by Nick Hornby’s Songbook: Listen to the Lyrics Or Ronald Reagan and James Lourenco: I’m Just Burning Doing the Neutron Dance
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner