ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Mark Rooke
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September 8, 2015Before We Break for Lunch, Let Me Repeat Everything Already Said at This Meeting at Least Twice
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July 8, 2015Nobel Prize Winner Peter Higgs Regrets Fielding Your Physics-Based Dungeons and Dragons Questions
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April 29, 2015I Wash My Face Like Women in Skin Care Commercials
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November 5, 2012Let’s Illustrate This Important Chemistry Concept Through a Word Problem About My Failing Marriage
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January 19, 2012Effective Immediately, the Entire Northwest Sales Team Will Be Sacrificed to Quetzalcoatl
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November 5, 2010An Open Letter to the Homeless Man Who Witnessed Me Totally Lose It Last Week
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July 15, 2010Ralph Waldo Emerson Disputes the Charges on His Cell Phone Bill
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner