McSWEENEY'S LITERARY ARTS FUND
Need a gift idea? Donate to McSweeney’s in a friend or loved one’s name. We’ll email you a specially designed certificate to print or email to let them know of your sparkling generosity. And from now through December 25, any donation will be doubled by generous donors.
Articles by
Matthew Simmons
-
July 19, 2007Two Things That Aren’t Covered by Your Friend With Benefits
-
May 12, 2005Things Heard During John Cage’s Folsom Prison Performance of “4’33”."
-
May 10, 2005Three Items at the Supermarket I See in a New Way, Now That I’ve Read Some Books on Literary Theory
-
February 16, 2005Ways Jesus Saves
-
September 13, 2004This Bible You Sold Me Is Clearly Defective and I’d Like to Return It, Please
-
November 6, 2003Why Love Is Blind
-
August 21, 2003Things I Would Say to Dorothy Parker If I Was Her Boyfriend that Would Lead to a Huge Fight
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
December 20, 2024Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists
-
December 20, 2024An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year
-
December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her
-
December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker