The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Patrick Crooks
Patrick Crooks is a Brooklyn-based writer where, among other things, he instigates feuds with ’70s pop stars for the Hard Times, and occasionally does stand up despite his crippling anxiety. He is single and childless.
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January 13, 2022I Can’t Help but Notice That This is the Thirteenth Month in a Row I’ve Been Featured as HR’s Commitment to Diversity
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November 8, 2021Your Lack of Red Flags Is Stifling Me Creatively
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September 16, 2021The Founders Would Like to Remind You They’ve Been Dead for Nearly Two Hundred Years
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June 16, 2020An Open Letter to the College Roommate I’ve Barely Spoken to Since Freshman Year Who Keeps Referring to Me as His Black Friend
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028
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April 1, 2025I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
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April 15, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes