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Articles by
Sarah Gruen
Sarah is a speechwriter and amateur pastry chef in NYC. She both adores and fears sick burns.
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April 5, 2023A Single, Thirty-Something Carrie Bradshaw Asks the Four Questions
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October 25, 2022If I Emailed My Parents Like Democrats Email Me
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August 27, 2021This Study Has Found Literally Every Activity You Love Is Statistically Certain to Kill You
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May 7, 2021We Need a New York City Mayor Who Will Take Mom to the Cloisters When She Visits
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June 17, 2019If We’re Doing Identity Politics, Can We Please Elect a President Named “Tammy”?
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner