McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Spencer Hyde
Spencer Hyde left Russia for the United States where he studied Bolshevik-Leninist theory at the University of California, Pennsylvania. After his studies at UCalPenn, he went on to work for a Swedenborgian Hosier where he met the descendants of T.S Eliot. There, he began writing his first Post-Truth Treatise on how to eat Gluten Free while still respecting Indigenous cultures. He recently rejected an offer to sing a capella at Trump’s inauguration. If he could go back in time and witness any historical event, it would be the first Civil War reenactment. He has been published places.
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December 14, 2022When “They Died Doing What They Loved” Was Unfortunately True
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February 9, 2021Utilitarian Expository Comments Added to Films So Your Overly Analytical Father-in-Law Will Shut the Hell Up While the Movie’s Playing
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November 19, 2018A Parent’s Guide to Your Teenager’s Linguistic Distillation of Classic AP Lit Titles
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February 20, 2017The Teachers Guide to Famous Poetry Plagiarized by Undergrads Using Word’s Right-Click Synonym Finder
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March 22, 2012An All-American Percussionist’s Post-NCAA Tournament Game Recap
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner