The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Teddy Wayne
Teddy Wayne is the author of the novels Apartment, Loner, The Love Song of Jonny Valentine, and Kapitoil. He writes the Future Tense column for the New York Times.
Photo by Kate Greathead
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July 18, 2024The Aged King and the Nearly as Aged Dragon
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May 28, 2024Pep Talk
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July 27, 2022Pitch Me the Next Pandemic, You Useless Dumbfucks
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July 12, 2022The Earliest Adopters of Bitrock
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May 13, 2021Teachable Moments with the Anti-Vaxxer Family
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit
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October 26, 2020A Quiet Evening at Home With Don, Jr. and Kimberly
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March 3, 2020I Just Don’t Think a Trump Has What It Takes to Be President
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February 24, 2020I Hate Trump’s Awful Policies, But I Love That He’s a Huge Asshole
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October 24, 2019Emotionally Haunted House
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May 9, 2019Hey, I’m Beto, Your Dorm Resident Advisor
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December 28, 2018More Appropriate White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner Jokes for 2019
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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January 20, 2025Welcome Home, President Nyarlathotep
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January 17, 2025Who Said It: Donald Trump or Martin Luther King Jr.?
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January 17, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Annie Leibovitz
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January 17, 2025It’s About Time Our Government Finally Reflects the Real America—An Airport Terminal at 10 a.m. on a Weekday