McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Walter Carson
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September 10, 2020All the President’s Book Deals
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March 3, 2020Who Said It: Donald Trump or Larry Vaughn, the Mayor of Amity Island from Jaws?
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March 25, 2019Screw You, Losers! Our Narcissistic, Corrupt, Racist, Anti-Science, Transphobic, Sexist, Classist, Nationalistic, Serial-Lying Adulterer President Didn’t Collude With Russia to Help Win an Already Gerrymandered Election!
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November 13, 2018Thanks for Sharing Your Unsolicited and Negative Opinion On the Internet!
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June 12, 2018Excerpts From My Son’s 6th Grade Report on the Endocrine System
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June 1, 2017Set List for the Band at President Trump’s Rose Garden Speech Announcing the United States Pulling Out of the Global Climate Accord
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October 20, 2016Phrase Uttered by Donald Trump in Last Night’s Debate or Title of Classic Cheesy Pop Song?
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December 15, 2015Trump’s Other Doctors Weigh In
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December 9, 2014Thoroughly Modern Milton
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November 19, 2014Jaden Smith, Willow Smith, or William Blake?
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March 31, 2011April Fools’ Day Pranks to Play On a 20-Something Male Who Still Lives at Home With His Parents
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June 17, 2010Conference Realignment
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 27, 2025“Democracy Dies in Darkness” Wasn’t a Warning; It Was Our End Goal
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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March 3, 2025Other Things John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Wished People Shouted at Him
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February 28, 2025An Open Letter to Lumon Industries Requesting to Please Kindly Insert the Severance Device in My Brain and Keep It on “Innie” Mode for the Next Four Years
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February 28, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Resurrector: Black Square
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February 28, 2025The New Cair Paravel Times Editorial Board Reflects on the First Weeks of the White Witch’s Second Reign