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Articles by
Zack Bornstein
Zack Bornstein is an Emmy-nominated, Peabody Award-winning & WGA Award-winning writer and director from Saturday Night Live, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Netflix’s The Good Cop, and Comedy Central’s Alternatino. He has created, directed, written, produced, and performed original comedy for NBC, ABC, Netflix, Comedy Central, FOX, MTV, and the UCB Theater. He regularly contributes to The New Yorker, Vulture, Paste Magazine, American Bystander, and McSweeney’s Internet Tendency. He created Garlic Jackson Comedy, which The New York Times called, “Some of the City’s best writers and performers.”
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December 17, 201815 Holiday Weight-Loss Tips
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September 30, 2016I’m a Political Journalist With 500 Words Due and Nothing Left to Say
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June 28, 2016I Was the One Who Bought George Zimmerman’s Gun
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January 20, 2015This Conversation is a Series of Gratuitous References to Validate My Intelligence to You
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October 24, 2014No One Can Tell Me What to Do—Except for People With the Proper Authority to Do So
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September 19, 2012My Neurotransmitter Abuse Problem
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January 18, 2011Great Uncle Pappy’s Expert Advice About Women
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner