McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

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Amongst the Liberal Elite

Getting woke is hard. As this couple are discovering under 45’s regime, it takes more than listening to NPR on our daily commutes and watching John Oliver on our phones in bed while we sip craft beer from artisanal glassware made by at-risk women on another continent to make us global citizens. That won’t stop Alexandra and Michael from trying, though.

These are never EVER drawn from the life of the author or should be considered in any way autobiographical. Ever. Never ever. For example, Elly Lonon has never done pilates. Ever.