McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.

It’s All Greek to Me:
A Column on Sororities in the South

2011 COLUMN CONTEST WINNER

Mary Marge Locker is an English major at the University of Mississippi, but she dropped her only English class this semester. Because of this, she has time to focus on the more important things in life, like social organizations. She wants to be in a sorority and doesn’t know why. Maybe so she can snag herself a frat-daddy. Maybe so she can have friends. Or maybe just so she can be associated with something. So yeah, Mary Marge attends a university to which she does not belong, because no girl is any girl at Ole Miss until she’s found herself—and made a home for herself—in a sorority.