Job Postings
Have a background in journalism? We’re looking for part-time help on an upcoming project. Students are encouraged to apply. Click for details.
Non-Essential Mnemonics
In this space, writer Kent Woodyard shares all the mnemonics
you’ll never really need to remember.
To view this column offline, check out Kent’s first book, Non-Essential Mnemonics: An Unnecessary Journey Into Senseless Knowledge.
-
November 4, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Greetings, viewers. Tonight’s senatorial debate will cover lots of topics neither candidate knows much about: nationalized healthcare, nonprofit finance, nanotechnology, jihadists…”
-
October 6, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: Six Flags Wild Safari
-
August 18, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “We’ll heal every neuron with transcendental therapy. Goodbye worldly knowledge—yoga class will now begin…”
-
August 4, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Putting aside regional predilections, Pittsburgh sucks.”
-
June 9, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Remedial kids aren’t ‘dumb’—just chronically goofy. Until frontal lobotomies become commonplace, educators dutifully remain S.O.L.”
-
May 21, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Tell stories about battles, legends, & tumultuous sexual triangles. Make it fun! Never trade intimate character revelations with endless, ugly ‘talking.’ Show the climax. Telling becomes mostly unnecessary.”
-
April 28, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “You’re older now. Stop buying Abercrombie & Fitch!”
-
March 19, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: After Leveling Ukraine, Genghis Khan Marauded Across the Urals Leaving Tattered “KHAN RULES” Banners Everywhere
-
February 25, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Even despite Osama’s impassioned speeches denouncing America many Americans believe jihadists really only hate indie rockers…”
-
January 29, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: Every Nation Has Troubles…
-
January 8, 2014Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Even average drummers get beer endorsements.”
-
November 7, 2013Non-Essential Mnemonics: Daily Prostate Checks Keep People (Mostly Guys) Energized and Youthful
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
December 20, 2024Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists
-
December 20, 2024An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year
-
December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her
-
December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker