McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

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Norse Mythology for Bostonians

In 2019, an abandoned smartphone was found partially buried beneath layers of sediment and urine in a South Boston alleyway. This forgotten relic was soon revealed to contain a remarkable audio-text describing in great detail the religious beliefs of ancient Scandinavia. This oral manuscript was transcribed and released to the general public as Norse Mythology for Bostonians in early 2020 and translated into English and released as The Impudent Edda in late 2023.

During the global lockdown that followed the transcription’s initial release, archaeologists, historians, and philologists continued to study the audio text as well as the device itself, now known simply as the Codex Bostonia. These researchers eventually uncovered an additional stash of hidden audio files stored in a previously secret location on the phone’s memory card. These recently recovered myths are being documented and made available to the public here as they become available in either transcripted or translated form. The breadth of their arcane lore, the depth of their spiritual insights, and the poignancy of their poetic revelations confirm that the collective audio texts of the Codex Bostonia remain the single most important contribution to our knowledge of pre-Christian Scandinavian religious beliefs to have emerged in a millennium.