McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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April 9, 2019At the End of the Day, Pinhead and Lady Misery Simply Had Different Definitions of “Defilement,” and That’s Why She’s Leaving The Cenobite Order
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April 9, 2019I Still Believe Every Child Is Precious. Also It Will Take Us Years to Find the Kids We Stole At the Border
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February 19, 2019Don’t Let the Pigeon Build a Border Wall!
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner