The Believer Magazine
All posts tagged
college-admissions
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April 9, 2024You Can Try Sample Questions from the New SATs or You Can Hit Yourself Over the Head Repeatedly with This Plumber’s Wrench
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December 21, 2021Common App Essays by Shakespeare Characters
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July 12, 2021Allison, This Is Your Future College, and We’re Here to Ruin Your Life
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December 2, 2020“Home Away from Home Alone”: A College Admissions Essay by Kevin McCallister
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June 23, 2020In Retrospect, Wait-Listing You Was a Huge Mistake
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December 16, 2019I Am Lady Macbeth, and Your Facebook Post About Your Kid’s Early Acceptance to Harvard Really Pisses Me Off
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August 27, 2019This Is Your Last Fucking Chance to Show Interest In Attending Our University
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March 18, 2019A Statement from the University of Pennsylvania Regarding the College Admissions Bribery Scandal
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March 13, 2019In My Day, All It Took to Get into Yale Was Gumption, Hard Work, and Being a Direct Male-Line Descendent of William Howard Taft
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October 5, 2018We Are Building the Most Inclusive, Exclusive Colleges in America!
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally