McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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All posts tagged
personals-ads
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March 8, 2017Divorced Freelancer Seeks Man with Corporate Health Insurance
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February 27, 2015Sentient Cloud of Poisonous Gas Seeks Companion
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November 21, 2014Wanted: Holiday Husband
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April 4, 2012SWF seeking SM to Sleep On the Other Side of the Bed
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April 13, 2011The Washington Post Inadvertently Publishes My Online Dating Profile with the Editor’s Notes Still Included
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February 25, 2010Missed Food Connections
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June 24, 2009Declarations of Conjugal Interest from the Massachusetts Federalist, 1733
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March 2, 2009Selected Personals From the American Psychiatric Association’s Dating Website
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December 19, 2008Unpromising Apartment-Ad Teasers Actually Found on Craigslist That Would Make Even Less Promising Personal-Ad Teasers
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November 15, 2007Personals From Nonpersons
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner