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All posts tagged
pumpkins
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October 11, 2024Brutally Honest Instructions for Visiting a Pumpkin Patch
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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October 24, 2023For Your Crimes, You Have Been Sentenced to Unpaid Labor at a Pumpkin Patch
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May 9, 2016I Don’t Have This Job: I Am a Pumpkin Carving Instructor
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October 30, 2014A Fun Pumpkin Carving Tutorial!
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November 12, 2010An Open Letter to Pumpkin-Flavored Seasonal Treats
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October 25, 2004McSweeney’s Halloween Tales: The Great Pumpkin
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December 20, 2024Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists
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December 20, 2024An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year
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December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her
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December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker