McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

Join our Patreon at $10/month (or more) and receive a coupon for a discount on the Decorative Gourd Beanie, Gourd mugs, and our glorious new Advent Calendar. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.

All posts tagged

text-messages

September 12, 2017

Text Messages to a Young Poet

by Elana Spivack
November 30, 2015

Tell Us How We Did With Your Order of Egg Whites and Avocado Wrap

by Jon Methven
May 17, 2012

Graphic Dispatches from a Recent College Grad Still Living in a College Town: Texts from College and Their Real World Equivalents

by Larry Buchanan
March 1, 2011

Where’s Skittles?!

by Bob Powers and Mike Sacks
June 3, 2009

God Texts the Ten Commandments

by Jamie Quatro

Trending 🔥

October 15, 2024

I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About

by Sam Woods
October 28, 2024

The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets

by Katryn Bury
September 20, 2024

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

by Colin Nissan
August 19, 2024

Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056

by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton

Recently

November 4, 2024

Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day

by Amanda Lehr
November 4, 2024

270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us

by Christian F. Nunes
November 4, 2024

Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care

by Jennie Egerdie
November 3, 2024

Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen

by Tom Ellison