McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

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All posts tagged

valentine-s-day

February 13, 2024

Cormac McCarthy’s Valentine’s Day Candy Hearts

by Kristina Libby and Timothy Cahill
February 9, 2024

Sexy Valentine’s Day Date Ideas That Honor the Life and Faith of Saint Valentine

by Angus Duffin
February 13, 2023

Candy Heart Messages After Elon Musk Buys Sweethearts for $44 Billion

by Louie Aronowitz and Patrick Coyne
February 14, 2022

Happy Valentine’s Day from Facebook. Here’s a Photo of You and Your Ex

by Emily Kling
February 11, 2022

I’m Beginning to Think You Don’t Care About the Forty-Seven Valentines I Need to Take to School Tomorrow

by Audrey Burges
February 12, 2021

I, Cupid, Resign As Mascot of Valentine’s Day Because I’m a Baby and It’s Creepy

by Liz Reuss
February 11, 2021

I’m the Liberal Mastermind Who Killed Christmas, and Now I’m Coming for Your Precious Valentine’s Day

by Danny Cady
February 14, 2020

Valentine’s Day Gifts from Famous Fictional Men

by Amanda Lehr
February 14, 2020

The Real Saints of Valentine’s Day

by Madeleine Trebenski and Ross Wolinsky
February 13, 2020

I’m the Valentine’s Card Your Three-Year-Old Made

by Andrew Knott

Trending 🔥

October 15, 2024

I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About

by Sam Woods
September 20, 2024

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

by Colin Nissan
August 19, 2024

Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056

by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton
October 28, 2024

The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets

by Katryn Bury

Recently

November 1, 2024

I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6

by Lauren Thoman
November 1, 2024

270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq

by Aquilino Gonell
November 1, 2024

Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches

by Devorah Blachor
October 31, 2024

This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner

by Matthew Brian Cohen