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All posts tagged
zoos
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February 16, 2022I’m Your Three-Year-Old, and I’m Not Leaving Until I’ve Touched Every Goddamn Garbage Can in This Zoo
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April 8, 2020I Am Ying Ying the Panda, and I Think You Know How My Quarantine Project Is Going
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November 24, 2008Gossip Gorilla
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February 1, 2006Tom Cruise Speaks at Official Unveiling of Zoo’s New Tiger Enclosure
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August 29, 2003An Open Letter to the Panda Handler at the San Diego Zoo
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December 3, 1999Hypothetical Transcript of the Discussion Leading to the Decision to Euthanize Hsing-Hsing the Giant Panda
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
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November 4, 2024270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us
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November 4, 2024Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen