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All posts tagged
zoos
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February 16, 2022I’m Your Three-Year-Old, and I’m Not Leaving Until I’ve Touched Every Goddamn Garbage Can in This Zoo
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April 8, 2020I Am Ying Ying the Panda, and I Think You Know How My Quarantine Project Is Going
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November 24, 2008Gossip Gorilla
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February 1, 2006Tom Cruise Speaks at Official Unveiling of Zoo’s New Tiger Enclosure
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August 29, 2003An Open Letter to the Panda Handler at the San Diego Zoo
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December 3, 1999Hypothetical Transcript of the Discussion Leading to the Decision to Euthanize Hsing-Hsing the Giant Panda
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December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker
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May 18, 2011I Regret to Inform You That My Wedding to Captain Von Trapp Has Been Canceled
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December 16, 2024Baby, It’s Me, Polio, and I’ve Missed You
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December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her