McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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All posts tagged
zoos
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February 16, 2022I’m Your Three-Year-Old, and I’m Not Leaving Until I’ve Touched Every Goddamn Garbage Can in This Zoo
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April 8, 2020I Am Ying Ying the Panda, and I Think You Know How My Quarantine Project Is Going
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November 24, 2008Gossip Gorilla
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February 1, 2006Tom Cruise Speaks at Official Unveiling of Zoo’s New Tiger Enclosure
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August 29, 2003An Open Letter to the Panda Handler at the San Diego Zoo
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December 3, 1999Hypothetical Transcript of the Discussion Leading to the Decision to Euthanize Hsing-Hsing the Giant Panda
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January 22, 2025This Is How You Normalize Performing a Fascist Gesture
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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October 11, 2006Back from Yet Another Globetrotting Adventure, Indiana Jones Checks His Mail and Discovers That His Bid for Tenure Has Been Denied
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February 4, 2025If Crooks Were Studying My Every Move to Pull an Ocean’s 11–Style Heist on Me
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February 3, 2025We Democrats Will Fight Back Just as Soon as We Can Get Our Shit Together
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February 3, 2025Elon Musk’s Directive on How to Change a Light Bulb in a Federal Building
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January 31, 2025The Twelve Labors of Hercules, First-Time Homebuyer