McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon at $10/month (or more) and receive a coupon for a discount on the Decorative Gourd Beanie, Gourd mugs, and our glorious new Advent Calendar. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Our Latest Post
-
The Sirens Are Unionizing
“Damn right, we’re unionizing. Management wants ten shipwrecks a week. It’s ridiculous. Last year it was eight, who knows what it’ll be next year.” -
Is It a Red Flag?:
Romeo and Juliet Edition“You’re thirteen years old: Not a red flag, as long as he is also a teenager. But if he is a much older suitor (let’s say, for example, a forty-nine-year-old with a history of never dating anyone over twenty-five), this should probably give you pause.” -
The Story of the First
No-Nut NovemberWilliam Bradford reminded the men that they were a Christian people, and had never before engaged in such carnal pleasures. “Right?” he asked.
They all did then look around sort of sheepishly and murmured, “Yeah, of course,” but in a way that wasn’t entirely convincing. -
Help, I’m a Thriller Writer Trapped in a Thriller Series, and I’m Not Getting Any Writing Done
“I don’t care who gets killed next; I need to carve out some time and space to write. I should apply to Yaddo or Byrdcliffe—a makeshift witness protection program where I can wear clogs and find my voice again.” -
I Just Found Out That the Serving Size Is Ten Almonds, But I’ll Eat as Many as I Want
“Everything in moderation, they say. Screw that. The only thing I’ll moderate is listening to you about how many almonds I can have.”
Trending
-
November 6, 2024I Don’t Hate Women Candidates. I Just Thought an Erratic and Vindictive Criminal Was Worthier of My Vote Than a Woman Candidate
-
November 8, 2024Updates on the Arc of the Moral Universe
-
November 6, 2024Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad
-
November 8, 2024Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires
-
November 13, 2024Sure, I Voted for Someone Whose Policies Might Kill You, but Now’s the Time to Put Aside Our Differences
-
August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
-
November 19, 2024Your Belief in Our Fearlessness Is Why It Works
-
November 12, 2024How Much Do You Need?
-
November 8, 2024Short Conversations with Poets: Kwame Dawes
-
October 17, 2024McSweeney’s Books: An Excerpt from The Four Deportations of Jean Marseille
-
October 16, 2024Short Conversations with Poets: Catherine Barnett
-
September 30, 2024Short Conversations with Poets: Rick Barot
-
September 26, 2024Reviews of New Food: Kit Kat Ghost Toast
Over in the Store
-
“A key barometer of the literary climate.” —The New York Times -
“A beautiful magical artifact for every wizard's library!”
—Pendleton Ward, Emmy-award winning creator of Adventure Time -
“It's not just that I trust Sam Sax's imagination. My sincere belief is that Sam's creative freedom unlocks the potential for our liberation.”
—Saeed Jones -
To order this title for just five dollars when you subscribe to The Believer, click here. A collection of riotously entertaining columns, written for The Believer magazine during its years in...
Recent Posts
-
November 18, 2024I’m a Guardrail, and I Don’t Know What the Fuck You People Want from Me
-
November 18, 2024I Am a Passionate Mid-Level University Administrator, and I’m Gonna Administrate the Shit Out of This Place
-
November 15, 2024I’m Willing to Give Our Alien Overlords a Second Chance
-
November 15, 2024I’m Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and It’s Time to Build a Healthcare System for 2025 BCE
-
November 14, 2024I’m Putting Together a Team. The Worst Fucking Team of All Time
Please engage with our brand on social media.
Or you may contact our customer service representative. She is a friendly human person.
- Email Us
- 849 Valencia St.
SF, CA 94110
Looking for submissions?
Right this way…
Right this way…
