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Who Said It: Donald Trump or Martin Luther King Jr.?
“I’m the least racist person you have ever interviewed.” -
It’s About Time Our Government Finally Reflects the Real America—An Airport Terminal at 10 a.m. on a Weekday
“Finally, our government will look, smell, and act like the real America. Not an Ivy League college campus, not a melting pot of immigrants striving to achieve the American dream, but instead an endlessly replenishing stream of shout-talking men.” -
A Pre-Game Pep Talk by a College Football Coach Who Recently Audited a Class on Nietzschean Thought
“We are the Overmen, the Supermen, the dadgum Tech Cougars, those who have crossed from mindless acceptance to a world of self-directed, restless solitude in pursuit of a grounded human ideal.” -
The Biggest Problem Threatening Our Country Is an App That Brings People Together
“We need Americans to stay divided. We can’t have them find their community, organize around common causes, or realize that they might not be so alone in something they’ve been struggling with.” -
Brainstorming Notes of the Typical Male American Spy Novelist
“Jackson whispered ‘execute’ into his radio and gazed through the night-vision scope, his eyes drifting between Layla’s sultry gait and the intercontinental ballistic missiles.”
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 10, 2025Massachusetts Road Signs
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January 3, 2025Local Alternatives to “California Sober”
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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January 17, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Annie Leibovitz
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January 7, 2025Short Conversations with Poets: Carol Moldaw
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December 13, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: Ancient to the Future
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December 11, 2024Letters to Moms: A Letter to Kevin McCallister’s Mom
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December 6, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Musician Jack Stratton
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December 4, 2024Announcing the International Library of Youth Writing
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November 29, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: Resurrector: Signs
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“A key barometer of the literary climate.” —The New York Times
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A collection of riotously entertaining columns, written for The Believer magazine during its years in the desert.
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Recent Posts
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 14, 2025Who Better to Address Sexual Assault in the Military Than a Man Who Has Been Accused of Sexual Assault?
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January 14, 2025One Upside of the Total Collapse of Civilization Is We Don’t Have to Be Woke Anymore
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January 14, 2025Mark Zuckerberg Makes Meta More Masculine
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