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So You’re Trying to Rationalize Rooting for USA Hockey as Our Country Turns into an Autocracy
“Remember: Canada isn’t perfect either. Neil Peart probably flubbed the ‘Tom Sawyer’ drum solo at least once in his life. And Margaret Atwood has almost certainly double-booked herself and been late to a coffee date.” -
Our Son Lionel’s
Back at School“He’s finally well enough to return to school, according to a telemedicine appointment with a Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Holistic Healing Center receptionist temp.” -
Relax, Everyone—Clarence Thomas Has Got Us
“Who better to safeguard our republic than the guy who was willing to smear his own sister as a welfare queen? That kind of commitment to the text—even if it means actively harming your family—is what we need on the bench right now.” -
How Our Pants Fit
“To find your size, pull out your favorite pair of pants and figure out how many cubits they are. If you don’t have a favorite pair of pants, pick the pair that makes you least likely to scream into a balled-up cardigan.” -
I Gave a Thousand Typewriters to a Thousand Monkeys, but Instead of Hamlet, They Just Keep Writing Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar
“Don’t get me wrong, it is still impressive, kind of. But I was really hoping for Shakespeare. And Plath is such a bummer.”
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 11, 2025I Vow to Fight Autocracy with Unprecedented Levels of Finger Wagging
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February 6, 2025Spines for Senators Is Now Pitchforks for the People
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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February 20, 2025Mac Barnett Has Been Named 2025-26 National Ambassador for Young People’s Literature
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February 19, 2025Short Conversations with Poets: Matthew Zapruder
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February 14, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: The Joy of Persona
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February 12, 2025McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Author Ahmed Naji and Translator Katharine Halls
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February 7, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Martine Syms
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February 6, 2025McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Jason Roeder about Griefstrike!, His Humor Book about Grief
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January 31, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Ask Carrie
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Presenting one of the very finest works in the history of the human language, painstakingly and loving presented in an edition the likes of which could only come from McSweeney's publishing.
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February 18, 2025Thanks to Our New Efficiency Czar, the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Is Saving More Money Than Ever
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February 18, 2025We Are Ending Our DEI Program at Four Loko
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February 18, 2025It’s a Snow Day, Welcome to Hell
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February 14, 2025Quotes from Famous Romance Films Rewritten for the First Weeks of Trump’s Second Term
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February 14, 2025Please Stop Ripping My Bodices
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