McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
-
December 19, 2024I Am Whoville’s Only Home Insurance Provider, and I Am So Screwed
-
December 18, 2024I’m an Apple News+ Article. Come and Get Me, Baby
-
December 16, 2024Baby, It’s Me, Polio, and I’ve Missed You
-
December 12, 2024I’m a Hairy and Disaffected Accountant Competing on the Popular Mid-2000s TV Game Show Wipeout
-
December 9, 2024I’m the Music Supervisor for All Those Netflix Reality Dating Shows
-
November 21, 2024Linda McMahon Is Ready to Pile-Drive the Department of Education
-
November 18, 2024I’m a Guardrail, and I Don’t Know What the Fuck You People Want from Me
-
November 15, 2024I’m Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and It’s Time to Build a Healthcare System for 2025 BCE
-
October 24, 2024I Am Chucky, and This Is My MasterClass
-
October 2, 2024JD Vance, a Very Normal Human Man, Sells Used Cars
-
August 14, 2024I’m Sorry If My Past Actions Made Me Seem Like a Good Person
-
May 24, 2024I Am the Only Person on the Fury Road Who Still Drives a Sensible Car
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
December 20, 2024Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists
-
December 20, 2024An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year
-
December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her
-
December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker