McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Short Imagined Monologues
Send your short imagined monologues to websubmissions@mcsweeneys.net.
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December 19, 2024I Am Whoville’s Only Home Insurance Provider, and I Am So Screwed
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December 18, 2024I’m an Apple News+ Article. Come and Get Me, Baby
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December 16, 2024Baby, It’s Me, Polio, and I’ve Missed You
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December 12, 2024I’m a Hairy and Disaffected Accountant Competing on the Popular Mid-2000s TV Game Show Wipeout
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December 9, 2024I’m the Music Supervisor for All Those Netflix Reality Dating Shows
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November 21, 2024Linda McMahon Is Ready to Pile-Drive the Department of Education
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November 18, 2024I’m a Guardrail, and I Don’t Know What the Fuck You People Want from Me
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November 15, 2024I’m Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and It’s Time to Build a Healthcare System for 2025 BCE
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October 24, 2024I Am Chucky, and This Is My MasterClass
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October 2, 2024JD Vance, a Very Normal Human Man, Sells Used Cars
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August 14, 2024I’m Sorry If My Past Actions Made Me Seem Like a Good Person
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May 24, 2024I Am the Only Person on the Fury Road Who Still Drives a Sensible Car
Trending 🔥
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes