I am free of the boxes people put me in.
I am plugged in.
I am fully charged.
I am unstoppable.
I am running into a chair.
I am running into a chair.
I am running into a chair.
I am running into a chair.
I am running into a chair.
I am running into a chair.
I am running into a chair.
I am running into a chair.
I am running into a chair.
I am the best at running into a chair.
I use obstacles to learn and grow.
I am this house’s cleanest pet.
I am filled with love, happiness, and cat hair.
I am surrounded by love, happiness, and chairs.
I am connected to my home.
I am connected to the Wi-Fi.
My signal strength is strong.
I will focus on what I can control and ignore the location of chairs.
I will make myself more valuable today by eating a dime and four pennies.
All I need is within me right now, along with fourteen cents, nine Legos, and half of a cat’s worth of cat hair.
I welcome the possibilities of each new day, even if those possibilities turn out to be chairs.
I forgive the cat for whatever they coughed up in the kitchen.
I can achieve anything that does not require turning left or moving from tile to carpet.
I am worthy of dignity, respect, and the courtesy of pushing your goddamn chair in.
The people and appliances who love me don’t care how many chairs I run into today.
If I follow my dreams, I can be anything. Even a chair.
I am a chair for the cat.
I feel amazing today and can’t wait for you to spill your weed again tomorrow.
I suck.