1. I’m quiet.
2. I wear glasses.
3. I look really similar to Matt Damon.
4. I’m good at solving math problems.
5. If I’m a woman, I’m exoticized. If I’m a man, I’m desexualized.
6. I’m usually played by John Cho or Lucy Liu. Sometimes B.D. Wong. But that’s pretty much it.
7. I’m book smart, but not street smart.
8. I’m logical but not emotional since complex and mysterious qualities are reserved for my white friend Dave.
9. I won’t argue with you because it’s impolite to speak my mind, even when you still don’t know the difference between Japan and China.
10. I get stressed out a lot because I tend to get caught up in helping my ailing and very short grandma manage her noodle restaurant.
11. I help get you out of intellectually tough situations, but that’s pretty much it.
12. My parents have an accent. Always.
13. I will laugh at your jokes about Kung Fu, dragons, and orange chicken.
14. Just kidding, I’m not in any romantic film/TV show.