HGTV Magazine presents “How Bad Is It?” — our discussion of the around-the-home faux pas we’re all secretly most scared of. How bad are they really? Never fear. We have the answers.
How bad is it … to release helium balloons into the air?
A: Hold on tight to that string there, buddy! While it’s believed that some balloons shatter into tiny pieces in the atmosphere, many float back to land or water. There they could harm animals that try to eat them.
BOTTOM LINE: Super bad!
…to borrow someone else’s earbuds?
Sharing earbuds sounds gross, but is it really? “No,” says Lisa Sturm, Director of Infection Prevention and Epidemiology at UCLA, whose research has concluded that bacteria found in the average person’s ear will not likely cause sickness unless they have an infection.
BOTTOM LINE: Not so bad!
…to systematically enslave and subjugate a race of people to help build your economy?
Systematically enslaving and subjugating a race of people to help build your economy is morally wrong. Think to yourself, “What’s so great about my economy that it needs slavery?” You may just find a creative solution! (For starters, think about a cute ‘n crafty cupcake shop!)
BOTTOM LINE: Pretty bad!
…rather than to just tell my kids to go to bed, to slowly turn up the heat in my house until they pass out, one-by-one, youngest to oldest?
Sure it’s easy, fun, and inventive, but what about your heating bills? (Bet you didn’t think about that!) While energy prices are at relative lows, we can expect them to edge upward in the future, making this a near-perfect, though fundamentally flawed plan.
BOTTOM LINE: Very bad!
…to lick your lips seductively at a job interview?
Dave Jimms, Professional Development Coordinator for the UMass School of Business says, “The employer is looking for a good worker, not some sort of love interest! Unless they are, in which case you should lick your lips, and lick them furiously.”
BOTTOM LINE: Really bad!
…to violate your parole?
United States Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer says, “The United States legal system is built on a rule of law, HGTV. This isn’t some phony baloney interim government, HGTV. How much am I being paid? Steve Breyer once had dignity. Dammit…what’s happened to me?”
BOTTOM LINE: A little bit bad!
…to give homemade gifts for the holidays?
We’ve found that people will often prefer a gift that has some thought and effort put into it. (e.g., a pinecone, a matchbook covered in Neufchatel cheese, a framed picture of Robert Bork, a hand-made airbag, a wadded up piece of wrapping paper wrapped in more wrapping paper so they open it and are like “whaat?” but then they get it’s like about disposability, etc.)
Tip: Put a sticker on your homemade gift, and then rip it off poorly. They’ll think you bought it!
BOTTOM LINE: Not bad!
…to deny the Holocaust?
The Holocaust is pretty widely considered to be historical fact at this point, so don’t be the last gal at the party who’s still denyin’! Author Elie Wiesel says nothing to us, even though we keep asking him for help on this dicey issue!
BOTTOM LINE: Super bad!
…if I don’t throw out my used K-cup after I make my coffee?
“Sure it may be a slight inconvenience for your next coworker,” says author Elie Wiesel, “but by now we have a rough social contract in place: you throw out the pod of the guy who used it last time, and the guy after you will throw out yours.” Wiesel was very insistent on this point.
BOTTOM LINE: Not so bad!