I want you to take a second and picture a world where you’re always looking over your shoulder, wondering if “it” might happen to you. You’re just going about your business, trying to get through the day like anyone else, but you can never relax, always having to remain on your toes “just in case.” Know the feeling I’m talking about? If you’re a man you probably do. If you’re a woman, however, this might be the first time you’ve been confronted with what it’s like to live in constant fear of being accused of sexual assault.
It’s a scary time for bros in the world right now. Try to imagine what it’s like walking outside everyday thinking, “could it happen to me today?” Meanwhile, women get to leave their houses every morning never once having to wonder if whipping it out in front of that hot intern was perhaps an ill-advised choice that will have consequences. And then, at night, getting to walk home without being followed by the ever-crushing anxiety that perhaps all those hilarious jokes you’ve played in the past could perhaps, to the layman, be considered sexual deviancy. Must be nice to live in that world, ladies. But, for us guys, it’s unfortunately getting clearer and clearer that it will never be our reality.
Even the places where we thought we were protected — our colleges, our workplaces — are now hostile environments where a dude can’t even get his freak on anymore. It’s crazy to think that women can’t even fathom a world in which their sick-ass desk button that they use to trap sexual prey might get discovered and therefore lead to their ousting. What that must be like I wonder? I mean, honestly, is it so much to ask that we get a seat at the table without having to worry that our incredibly professional game of footsie will be drastically misinterpreted?
That’s why I’m calling on all women to start taking this seriously and realize that you could be ruining a life by not just being chill about all of this. We need you to step up and shut up because you could be ruining the life of someone who, in addition to doing this to you, is also like a really nice dude who takes his niece to the zoo and is in my fantasy football league. And if that’s not enough, then you should remember that that person you’re accusing of committing an act of sexual violence against you? Well, he is someone’s dad or brother. Hell, he may even be someone’s president.