#1: House lights go down, it’s pitch black. I don’t come out right away, and audience can really feel the anticipatory tension. Suddenly: a single spotlight fades up on a lone chair on stage. Or, wait, cuts on suddenly, no fading up; let’s really clobber these slobs who scraped together nine bucks for some kicks. Bright spot, very sudden, extremely confrontational. No, not a spotlight. Let’s do: ambient blue lights fade up, but it’s still pretty dark, so everyone’s like, ‘Huh? What the…?’ Aaaaaand robot voices. Yep, robot voices coming through the speakers LOUDLY. We can’t tell what they’re saying, but they’re definitely robots, and there’s nothing positive about them. Robots always symbolize either numb perfunctory people disconnected from their passion, or they’re a literal thing, no symbolism at all, just angry machines trying to take over. Either way, robots. I like this.
#2: That video I saw of a roadrunner smashing rattlesnake’s head against rock over and over — have it play on repeat behind me. Ask Ben if he can put text over it that says something about the wealth gap in America or Kristin leaving me. Could also say something about Craig not being nearly as successful as he seems/acts.
#3: You know what, I was right the first time: spotlight at the beginning before I come out. Always follow your first instinct, everyone knows that.
#4: That roadrunner’s going to get old if he’s up there the whole time. Should edit it together with footage of L.A. riots and heart surgery, Wall Street financial stuff, couples convinced they’re in love, etc. Text could say “EATEN BY MACHINES.” Or even just, “WELCOME TO THE SHOW.”
#5: I know some people from work are going to show up, even if I try to keep it quiet and don’t invite them. Have sign on theater door that says work of fiction/my sexual and financial problems are just a coincidence, etc. Look to see the wording in beginning of movies, it’s something like “coincidences with the living and the dead.” Also put “NO PHOTOGRAPHY, KRISTIN” on there.
#6: I come out onstage dressed as me, but… me at age 11. Little league uniform (recreate in my current size but should still look retro, grass stains, etc.), I walk to center stage, take a knee, focus on middle distance and smile, as if picture is being taken BUT, I suddenly start screaming: “I AM ELEVEN! I DON’T HAVE A SEXUAL IDENTITY! I HAVE A NORMAL BOY’S CURIOSITY! I REFUSE TO BE DEFINED! I REFUSE TO BE ASHAMED!”
(Tech note: Hate to make a big deal about lights again, but let’s have them alternating quickly between pink and blue here. They should fade down as I end segment by yelling conflicting sexual slurs and judgments: “Sissy!” “Stud!” “Sexy!” “Wrong!” “Right!” “Good!” “Baaaaaaaaaad!” (last one, fade it down).
REMINDER: Steve Lauder from Ad Sales is going to take this as an invitation to heckle. Think of some comebacks about him and have them at the ready.
#7: Lights come back up whichever way is easiest for crew (as long as it’s not blue and pink, we’re moving on at this point and out of the flashback). I go into what I think really happened on 9/11, inside job, etc.
>> Just occurred to me that I’ll still be in my big/little league uniform. Might be too weird if I’m talking about 9/11 wearing that.
#8: Idea I had while falling asleep last night: What if I just do my version of someone else’s one man show? Like when a band covers someone else’s song. Will pick up on this after work tonight.
#9: Had this thought when I was in restoration hardware getting flameless votive candles for den: Am I even a one man show type of guy?
YOU ARE BRAVE ENOUGH TO FACE YOUR OWN QUESTIONS!
Putting show on back burner, too much other stuff to get done at the moment. Lawrence at work (the only person I’ve told about show) says I’m distracting myself because I know I’m onto something good and I need to see this through. But he’s friends with Steve Lauder from Ad Sales and they were pointing and laughing (like idiots) when I did my DJ class at the offsite last year, so…
It’s been two years and nothing’s changed, so thinking about the show again. Very simple this time, though. You know those songs where the person keeps just saying words in rapid-fire succession as they pop up? Dylan had one where he peeled away sign cards as the lyrics came up? R.E.M. had one where it’s like, “Birthday party, cheesecake factory, bird, airplane, shopping center…”
You know what, never mind.
Just spitballing: I’m covered in fake blood staring at audience for one hour. They are left to interpret on their own. One of these things where people ask what it meant, and I ask them what it meant.