Old Jokes, Updated To Make Them Even Older

“What’s the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball?”
“The bowling ball didn’t die of croup!”

“Why is six afraid of seven?”
“Because VII-VIII-IX!”

“What’s the definition of a perfect man?”
“The king.”

“What’s the definition of a perfect woman?”
“That is for the king to decide.”

“Why did the man throw the clock out the window?”
“Because he considered it a form of deviltry.”

“What’s the difference between a black man and a large pizza?”
“Three-fifths of a vote.”

“What do you call a blonde with two master’s degrees and a Ph.D.?”
“A witch.”