Ridgemore Day School
Secular Preschool and Kindergarten (Ages 2.5-5)
Non-Traditional, New Age, Sensory, Mixed Movement
There are three rules at Ridgemore Day. As you know from the pre-introduction orientation kit, three is a number both children and parents can agree upon according to the Bailey-Wexton Method. It is the number of intergenerational understanding, a number that establishes clear boundaries, but doesn’t confine. Ridgemore is not a prison—it’s a box with three sides. Please note, none of those sides are a ceiling. And all the sides have windows. And all of the windows are open.
The Three Rules of Ridgemore Day are:
1. Lead Yourself
2. Ask WHY
- Where am I going?
- Have we met before?
- You know what?
3. Listen For Answers
These rules are introduced gradually in the classroom through a series of physical and metaphysical exploratory exercises to allow for maximum exposure and total saturation as defined by the Bailey-Wexton Method. Many of the exercises involve crayons. The crayons are soy-based, BPA-free, and hypoallergenic. A sample of any specialty papers, watercolors, or modeling clays will be mailed to the student’s home prior to first day of school. Classrooms are referred to as We Zones. We Zones are certified Safe Spaces by the North America Safe Spaces Advisory Committee.
Children ages 2.5 to 3.5 years old meet in a single room known as the Foundations Room in the newly remodeled, richly upholstered basement. Over the course of their time in the Foundations Room, students will be allowed unstructured exploratory time with non-Western healing implements including crystals, sage bundles, powdered antler, bone rattles, and ash. Scale, relational aesthetics, and shoe tying are key focus areas. Exceptionally expressive students are allowed time to dance with scarves.
The 3.5 to 4.5 year-olds meet on the second floor and are led by a revolving group of instructors chosen based on their physical resemblance and gender neutrality. Over the course of the year, children will be exposed to over seventy teachers, all referred to by the title Professor. Professor will refuse to acknowledge any claims made by students that he/she is in fact many separate individuals, but will emotionally reward those children who persist in their doubt. Non-doubting children will also be emotionally rewarded, but only intermittently and by a silent stranger who roams the halls and stairwells.
The 4.5 to 5 year-olds meet on the top floor of the Ridgemore Day building in individual chambers with floor to ceiling windows on all sides. The chambers are referred to as Me Cubes. Each child’s soundproof Me Cube provides full visibility of all other students, but discourages reliance on the crutch of language as a primary communicative tool. Instructors are absent throughout the duration of the semester, and are instead replaced by a low frequency hum piped into each cube at a reasonable volume. Me Cubes are outfitted with a Casio piano, safety scissors, pre-dulled pencils, Wi-Fi, and a nap pad. Students are bathed in eye-friendly blue light for three hours every day and provided with a wide selection of gummies for snack time.
Before graduation, each Ridgemore Day student will be expected to display proficiency in a foreign language or landscape architecture, as well as familiarity with a wide range of shapes, textures, conflict resolution tactics, facial expressions, and yoga poses.
The much lauded benefits of a Ridgemore Day School education include the constantly evolving FAQ section of our website as well as post-graduate support from a team of highly skilled and disease free Persistence Coordinators each fully equipped with the requisite fur pelts, glassy beads, encouraging posters, and non-religious chants necessary to provide students with the will to continue learning and living. Each child, referred to as a True Scholar upon graduation, will be assigned their own Persistence Coordinator whose name and sleeping arrangements must be decided upon by your family in a Bailey-Wexton approved Share Zone (Ridgemore Day can provide Share Zone compliance consultation for an additional fee).
True Scholars have gone on to attend Horace Mann Academy of Transcendence, Blakely, Ireland, Abelworth Forestry Schools, and Fillip-Rake, among other fine institutions.
Notable True Scholars include the entire cast and production crew of Twister, a president, seven sets of identical twins, chairmen of boards, and the greatest surfer alive.
This concludes the introduction. Post-introduction information kits are available to credit-approved, pre-tested applicants. Please refer to the pre-introduction orientation kit for application details.