Dear AMQR Subscriber,
First off, we apologize. We promised that if you signed up for a one-year subscription to the Arthur Miller Quarterly Review you’d be given access to exclusive, never-before-seen photos of acclaimed American playwright Arthur Miller in the nude — photos that have yet to be delivered. By now you may believe such photos do not exist. Perhaps you think we invented them as a cheap marketing ploy to give our niche literary journal’s subscription numbers a boost.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
It’s true that AMQR’s sponsoring institution is slashing our operating budget by seventy percent. We acknowledge that in times like these, a journal might be forced to consider guerrilla tactics. But the fact is, we do have nude photos of Arthur Miller — clear, high-resolution images that convey a sense of Miller’s sensuality and playfulness, his cool urban intellect and sensitive bedroom eyes.
Trust us when we say these nude pics are amazing.
Our nude photos of Arthur Miller light up the room; they make the celestial bodies of the heavens look like cheap orbs of space crap. Our nude photos of Arthur Miller are lush and radiant — at turns artful and pornographic, candid yet preternaturally self-aware.
“My God,” said our managing editor when she first saw the pictures. “Call my family. Tell them I’ll be home late.” She didn’t leave her office for three whole days.
These photos of Arthur Miller, lithe and garmentless — how shall we describe them? We already did on AMQR’s Facebook page, which has since been suspended, so we’ll repeat our claims here:
Our stunning, high-quality images of Miller wearing nothing but his trademark tortoiseshell glasses will Simply. Take. Your breath away. These photos — which we promise will be 100% nude, 100% of the time — feature the National Medal of Arts recipient in tasteful but provocative poses: strolling through the pines at his Roxbury, CT estate; shaking hands with Elia Kazan on the set of Death of a Salesman; kicking over a garbage can in a fit of righteous temper following a testimony before the House Committee on Un-American Activities. For years, it’s been a well-kept secret among literary elite that Miller enjoyed most of his waking hours naked. We intend to bring you the very best of those hours, and so for a limited-time only we are offering a flipbook of select, nude photos of Arthur Miller along with the purchase of a one-year subscription to the magazine Publisher’s Weekly described as “one of the top ten journals dedicated to Arthur Miller in southeast Michigan.”
To see Miller’s work performed in the theatre is a revelatory moral experience. To read his words on the page is equally thrilling. But what better way to round out one’s knowledge of Miller’s career than to gaze upon his lean feet slapping the tile of his sister Jean Copeland’s Manhattan apartment? Why not appreciate the long curve of thigh angling into the petite buttock of the man the New York Times called “one of the great American playwrights, whose work exposed the flaws in the fabric of the American dream”?
Dear AMQR subscriber, did you know?
- That Arthur Miller, winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Drama, commissioned a lower back tattoo of a bucking mustang while filming The Misfits in the sweltering desert badlands of Nevada?
- That Arthur Miller, author of All My Sons and The Crucible, went eighty-nine years without a single tan line?
- That Arthur Miller, colossus of American arts and letters, recipient of honorary degrees from Oxford and Harvard, benefitted from the extra vigor of a supernumerary testicle?
Our collection of nude — shall we call them urgent? — photos of Miller shrugging off the shackles of modern dress are not merely a groundbreaking cultural artifact, they’re what you might call — especially for a university-affiliated magazine with unstable funding — a game-changer. As the old saying goes, “He who holds the nude photos of Arthur Miller holds the power, and he who holds the power can tell the Board of Trustees to suck it.”
Given all this, why are we coming before you today without any nude photos of Arthur Miller to share?
Truth be told, we were a bit hasty in determining the value of our collection. Distributing never-before-seen shots of Miller going full monty for the mere cost of a one-year subscription was irresponsible, if not insulting to the legend himself. That’s why now, for a limited-time only, AMQR is offering customers the chance to see the Kennedy Center Honoree in a series of demure, inviting poses: swatting a locust while climbing the heights of a sturdy sugar maple; climbing out of a taxi at 20th Century Fox; and riding a bicycle through the crowded streets of Beijing.
These photos and more — did we mention Miller’s nude game of six-wicket with Alexander Calder? — can be yours with the purchase of a five-year subscription to the journal Poets & Writers once bet “would never make it through the Great Recession.” And just look at us now.
Order now, and please enjoy the view!
Sincerely,
The Editors of Arthur Miller Quarterly Review