McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Ben Joseph
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November 18, 2013James Bernthal, Five-Year-Old Realtor
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February 5, 2009What Parents Must Assume I’m Saying to My Youth Soccer Team
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June 16, 2008Lit 101 Class in Three Lines or Less
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April 9, 2008Film School in Three Lines or Less
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March 25, 2008It’s Not You, It’s Your Uncontrollable Telekinesis
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December 24, 2007Excerpts from My Rejected Script, Alien Vs. Predator Save Christmas
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October 19, 2006Celebrity Biographies Written By A Guy Who Cannot Distinguish Fiction From Reality
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February 27, 2025“Democracy Dies in Darkness” Wasn’t a Warning; It Was Our End Goal
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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February 27, 2025Changes Our University Is Making to Pre-Comply with Possible Future Regulations
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March 6, 2025Killing Baby Boomers Will Save the United States Government Trillions
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March 13, 2025It’s a Shame We Have to Betray Our Allies, Starve the Poor, Halt Scientific Progress, Destroy the Environment, and Eliminate the Freedoms Enshrined in the Bill of Rights, but at Least My Investment Portfolio Is Also Tanking
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March 13, 2025Don’t Let the Fact That I Only Criticize Democrats and Always Defend Trump Confuse You—I’m an Independent Centrist
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March 13, 2025Hero of the Memoir
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March 12, 2025DOGE-Inspired Spring Cleaning