McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon at $10/month (or more) and receive a coupon for a discount on the Decorative Gourd Beanie, Gourd mugs, and our glorious new Advent Calendar. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Articles by
Ben Joseph
-
November 18, 2013James Bernthal, Five-Year-Old Realtor
-
February 5, 2009What Parents Must Assume I’m Saying to My Youth Soccer Team
-
June 16, 2008Lit 101 Class in Three Lines or Less
-
April 9, 2008Film School in Three Lines or Less
-
March 25, 2008It’s Not You, It’s Your Uncontrollable Telekinesis
-
December 24, 2007Excerpts from My Rejected Script, Alien Vs. Predator Save Christmas
-
October 19, 2006Celebrity Biographies Written By A Guy Who Cannot Distinguish Fiction From Reality
Trending 🔥
-
October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
-
October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
-
September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
-
August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
Recently
-
November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
-
November 4, 2024270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us
-
November 4, 2024Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care
-
November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen