The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Carrie Wittmer
Carrie Wittmer is a comedy writer, satirist, journalist and occasional stand-up comedian. By day, she writes for the entertainment team at Business Insider, focusing primarily on television coverage. She lives in Brooklyn with her very photogenic dog, and is a co-founder and editor of the comedy and satire site for female writers, The Belladonna. Carrie’s first book, New Erotica for Feminists based off the McSweeney’s piece of the same name, comes out in November 2018.
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July 19, 2019Hemingway’s “For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn” Re-Imagined By Other Authors
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January 7, 2019This Workplace Is a Family Now, Dammit
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June 19, 2018At Last, Gender-Flipped Movies for Him
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February 6, 2018New Erotica for Feminists
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September 7, 2016Boyfriend Application for High Profile Celebrity
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July 26, 2016Welcome to Teen Island!
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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April 3, 2025President Trump’s Tariffs Will Help America Win the War Against Birds
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April 3, 2025An Open Letter to the One Other Person of Color at This Hockey Game
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April 2, 2025We’re Committed to Brokering Peace in Ukraine; Also, We’re Invading Greenland
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April 2, 2025Increasingly Inconvenient MTA Service Advisories