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Articles by
Chas Gillespie
Chas is a writer, comedian, and teacher whose work appears in The New Yorker, The Onion, and McSweeney’s, where he contributes regularly. Feel free to reach out to him through his website, chaschaschas.com. He is currently at work on a novel.
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July 18, 2024Your Body’s Updated Terms of Service
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May 13, 2024The United States Forest Service Answers Questions About Its New Policy to “Kill All Ticks and Consign Them to an Eternity in the Flaming Valleys of Hell”
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April 10, 2024I Am Your Thirty-Fourth Browser Tab, Begging You to Reopen Me
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January 2, 2024You’re a Cyclist Who Was Just Struck by a Car Driver. Here’s Why It Was Your Fault
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December 19, 2023Welcome to Big Chet’s Landlord Supply Store, Featuring the Jankiest Appliances of All Time
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December 11, 2023We Are Wirecutter, and Last Winter We Sent Eighty-Six Reporters to Test Fifteen Hundred Artificial Christmas Trees. Twelve Haven’t Returned
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July 18, 2023My Wife and I Share Household Duties, Actually
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June 26, 2023My Plan to Destigmatize Mental Illness Is to Blame Every Societal Problem on People with Mental Illnesses
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March 28, 2023What Your Favorite New York Times Columnist Says about You
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January 11, 2023What to Do with Your Twitter Account Now That Elon Musk Has Given Control of the Company to a Translucent Floating Orb Full of Crane Eggs
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December 5, 2022An Honest Lease Agreement
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November 8, 2022NIMBY Public Comment Bingo
Trending 🔥
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally