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Articles by
Chas Gillespie
Chas is a writer, comedian, and teacher whose work appears in The New Yorker, The Onion, and McSweeney’s, where he contributes regularly. Feel free to reach out to him through his website, chaschaschas.com. He is currently at work on a novel.
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July 18, 2024Your Body’s Updated Terms of Service
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May 13, 2024The United States Forest Service Answers Questions About Its New Policy to “Kill All Ticks and Consign Them to an Eternity in the Flaming Valleys of Hell”
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April 10, 2024I Am Your Thirty-Fourth Browser Tab, Begging You to Reopen Me
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January 2, 2024You’re a Cyclist Who Was Just Struck by a Car Driver. Here’s Why It Was Your Fault
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December 19, 2023Welcome to Big Chet’s Landlord Supply Store, Featuring the Jankiest Appliances of All Time
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December 11, 2023We Are Wirecutter, and Last Winter We Sent Eighty-Six Reporters to Test Fifteen Hundred Artificial Christmas Trees. Twelve Haven’t Returned
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July 18, 2023My Wife and I Share Household Duties, Actually
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June 26, 2023My Plan to Destigmatize Mental Illness Is to Blame Every Societal Problem on People with Mental Illnesses
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March 28, 2023What Your Favorite New York Times Columnist Says about You
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January 11, 2023What to Do with Your Twitter Account Now That Elon Musk Has Given Control of the Company to a Translucent Floating Orb Full of Crane Eggs
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December 5, 2022An Honest Lease Agreement
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November 8, 2022NIMBY Public Comment Bingo
Trending 🔥
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 13, 2025It’s a Shame We Have to Betray Our Allies, Starve the Poor, Halt Scientific Progress, Destroy the Environment, and Eliminate the Freedoms Enshrined in the Bill of Rights, but at Least My Investment Portfolio Is Also Tanking
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March 27, 2025A Letter from Believer Editor Daniel Gumbiner
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March 27, 2025Scenes from the First Major League Baseball Game Featuring the New Robot Umpire, HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel
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March 26, 2025Star Wars Quotes That I, a Federal Employee, Would Like to Say to Elon Musk