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Articles by
Christian Alsis
Christian Alsis is a writer and comedian whose work has been featured in MAD Magazine. He lives happily in Philadelphia with his wife and daughter.
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September 26, 2017Allow Me to Take the Opportunity Afforded to Me by This Cover Letter to Explain the Four Year Gap in My Employment When I Was Stuck in a Corn Maze
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May 10, 2017This New Face-Aging Photo App is Fun and Not a Sobering Reminder of the Fleetingness of Time and the Inevitability of Death
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
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November 4, 2024270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us
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November 4, 2024Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen