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March 1, 2021No, Our Company Is Not “Anti-Union,” We Simply Believe That It Is in Our Best Interest to Quash Any Attempt by Our Employees to Collectively Bargain on Their Behalf
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November 23, 2020Ernie’s Kitchen Has New Ownership, a New Menu, and Is Now a Luxury Condominium Complex
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December 11, 2019I Hope You Enjoy Your Airbnb Stay At My Home, a Place I Have Never Resided Nor Visited
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September 28, 2018Sure, Our Beer Is Almost Impossible to Track Down, But That Only Makes You Want It More
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June 21, 2018Yoga for Masochists
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February 7, 2017We Have to Accept That the New England Patriots Are Super Bowl Champions
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner