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Articles by
Eddie Small
Eddie Small is a writer whose work has been published in The New Yorker and The Onion.
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October 16, 2024A Sociological Guide to the Parents at Your Local Playground
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August 23, 2024We Have Updated Our Children’s Menu Options to Better Reflect What We See Your Children Doing in Our Restaurant
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July 24, 2024You Are Almost Out of Google Storage Space
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June 12, 2024Things to do in a Hotel Room After Your Child Falls Asleep at 7:30 p.m.
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March 12, 2024I Guess I Will Just Keep Standing Here While You Fix the Sink
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February 23, 2024A Timeline of My Attempt to Drink a Beer on a Friday Night Before My Toddler Goes to Bed
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February 5, 2024Feedback on Short Film Video Call to Grandma and Grandpa
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August 29, 2023I Don’t Have Much Interest in Talking to You, But Our Toddlers Just Started Playing Together at This Playground, So I Guess We’re Doing This
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April 18, 2023Chicka Chicka Boom Boom: The Action Movie Trailer
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March 2, 2023I Will Explain My Book to You As Soon as I Finish Having This Panic Attack
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July 5, 2022Holding My Baby Will Not Be a Stressful Experience for You at All
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May 27, 2022Starcourt Mall is Closing
Trending 🔥
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally