The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Eddie Small
Eddie Small is a writer whose work has been published in The New Yorker and The Onion.
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October 16, 2024A Sociological Guide to the Parents at Your Local Playground
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August 23, 2024We Have Updated Our Children’s Menu Options to Better Reflect What We See Your Children Doing in Our Restaurant
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July 24, 2024You Are Almost Out of Google Storage Space
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June 12, 2024Things to do in a Hotel Room After Your Child Falls Asleep at 7:30 p.m.
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March 12, 2024I Guess I Will Just Keep Standing Here While You Fix the Sink
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February 23, 2024A Timeline of My Attempt to Drink a Beer on a Friday Night Before My Toddler Goes to Bed
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February 5, 2024Feedback on Short Film Video Call to Grandma and Grandpa
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August 29, 2023I Don’t Have Much Interest in Talking to You, But Our Toddlers Just Started Playing Together at This Playground, So I Guess We’re Doing This
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April 18, 2023Chicka Chicka Boom Boom: The Action Movie Trailer
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March 2, 2023I Will Explain My Book to You As Soon as I Finish Having This Panic Attack
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July 5, 2022Holding My Baby Will Not Be a Stressful Experience for You at All
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May 27, 2022Starcourt Mall is Closing
Trending 🔥
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 13, 2025It’s a Shame We Have to Betray Our Allies, Starve the Poor, Halt Scientific Progress, Destroy the Environment, and Eliminate the Freedoms Enshrined in the Bill of Rights, but at Least My Investment Portfolio Is Also Tanking
Recently
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March 27, 2025We Are the People Who Buy Red Delicious Apples
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March 27, 2025A Letter from Believer Editor Daniel Gumbiner
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March 27, 2025Scenes from the First Major League Baseball Game Featuring the New Robot Umpire, HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel