ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Eric Hague
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May 7, 2013A Few Words From a Genetically Modified Eggplant
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December 6, 2012Welcome to My Rare and Antiquarian eBook Shop
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October 24, 2012Hark! I Am Obama—Slayer of Jobs!
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August 28, 2012I Don’t Think Liberals Realize We’ve Been Joking About the Whole Homophobia Thing
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July 24, 2012In Hindsight, Maybe We Shouldn’t Have Let Lord Voldemort Start His Own Super PAC
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March 29, 2012The Supreme Court Issues a 5-4 Decision on Where to Order Lunch
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December 12, 2011Look, We Can Either Study for Our Law School Finals, or We Can Bring About the Violent Dissolution of the American Legal System
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November 8, 2011A Stripped-Down, Compromised Draft of the American Jobs Act
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June 2, 2011Actually, “STFU” is an Initialism, Not an Acronym
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August 12, 2010Our Daughter Isn’t a Selfish Brat; Your Son Just Hasn’t Read Atlas Shrugged
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July 9, 2010Retraction: There is In Fact Such a Thing as a Virus that Puts Porn on Your Computer
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May 27, 2010A Campus Tour for Rejected Applicants
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
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November 4, 2024270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us
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November 4, 2024Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care
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November 3, 2024Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen