McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Felipe Torres Medina
Felipe Torres Medina is an alien of extraordinary ability. That’s the US government’s way of saying he’s a writer. He comes from Colombia, not Tattooine.
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September 12, 2024J. D. Vance Imagines a Day in the Life of a Pet-Eating Immigrant
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August 11, 2021I’m Resigning Because the Response to My Box of Scorpions Has Become a Distraction
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November 26, 2019Turkey or Sides: A Socratic Dialogue
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June 13, 2019Self-Care Tips for Immigrants
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June 7, 2019Sorry, But I Don’t Think Attending Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters Will Get Me Into Brown
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June 6, 2018We Didn’t Mean for You to Find Out About All Those Additional Dead Puerto Ricans
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May 4, 2018Historically Accurate Things to Shout at Your Cinco de Mayo Party
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April 17, 2018As Your Senator, I Vow to Never Do Anything That Will Upset Bob, 54, from Indiana
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January 23, 2018ICE Detainee or Patient Given a Dramatic Arc in Grey’s Anatomy?
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August 22, 2017Young Hollywood Heartthrob or Two IKEA Products?
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July 19, 2017My Daily Routine as a Job-Stealing Immigrant
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May 20, 2016An Open Letter to the US Immigration Officer Who Confused Me for a Criminal
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner