McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to author interviews, content calls, discounts at our store, and more. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.
Articles by
Francis Heaney
-
October 26, 2000The Least Believable Things I Can Reach With a Cane While Sitting at My Computer
-
October 17, 2000Steps in the Creation of a List
-
October 3, 2000Some Little Fables To Help You in Your Life
-
August 16, 2000Francis Heaney’s Lipogrammatic Consumer Guide
-
July 19, 2000Imaginary Dialogues
-
December 16, 1999A D’Agostino Supermarket Receipt Found Left Inside a Copy of Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son by the Previous Person to Check it out of the Library, Presumably Used as a Bookmark, and Perhaps Shedding Some Light on the Type of Person Who Reads This
-
November 5, 1999Short Fiction Starring or Mentioning David Gergen: A Short Story About David Gergen Using Only Words That Can be Spelled with the Letters in “David Gergen.”
Trending 🔥
-
February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
-
February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
-
February 27, 2025“Democracy Dies in Darkness” Wasn’t a Warning; It Was Our End Goal
-
February 27, 2025Changes Our University Is Making to Pre-Comply with Possible Future Regulations
Recently
-
March 4, 2025Russian Phrases for Americans: A Practical Guide for Our New Reality
-
March 4, 2025I’m Your Chiropractor, and Trust Me, Your Spine Is Supposed to Sound Like That
-
March 3, 2025Accurate College Marketing Taglines
-
March 3, 2025Other Things John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Wished People Shouted at Him