The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Greg Knauss
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September 16, 2002Rejected Dialogue for the Chinese Psy-Ops Officer in Pork Chop Hill
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November 5, 2001Schoolyard Games for Unpopular Children
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July 9, 2001Lines of Star Wars Dialogue If Obi-Wan Kenobi Had Been Really, Really Depressed
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July 9, 2001Members of a Los Angeles-Area Cheesecake Factory Wait Staff (Listed in Order of Appearance)
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July 7, 2001Things I Have Had in My Nose, and If They Got There Intentionally or Accidentally
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March 29, 2001Advertising Slogans Targeted at the Lovecraftian Elder Gods
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February 23, 2001Early Drafts of Surprise Endings
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally