Members of a Los Angeles-Area Cheesecake Factory Wait Staff (Listed in Order of Appearance)

Featured Menu Items at the Existentialist’s Café

My Recent Interview to Simply Rent a Small House in Los Angeles for Six Months

Non-Essential Mnemonics: “Los Angeles residents love actors, singers, and Kobe. San Franciscans prefer “granola people” – bicyclists, bearded Democrats, people with bisexual dads…”

Hi, I’ll Be Your Waiter Interrupting a Really Hard Conversation

Excerpts from The Believer: Ask Carrie

An Oral History of the Kidz Bop Cover of John Cage’s 4’33”

Forgotten Literary Moments in Which a Cat Throws up and No One Wants to Deal With It

Was It Cake?