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Articles by
Jonathan Zeller
Jonathan Zeller is a writer, editor, and comedian who’s contributed to National Lampoon, the New York Times, and Teen Vogue.
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January 14, 2025One Upside of the Total Collapse of Civilization Is We Don’t Have to Be Woke Anymore
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November 19, 2024I Just Found Out That the Serving Size Is Ten Almonds, But I’ll Eat as Many as I Want
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September 24, 2024Book Review: The Great Gatsby by the Xerox 914 Photocopier
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June 26, 2024Calm Down—Your Phone Isn’t Listening to Your Conversations. It’s Just Tracking Everything You Type, Every App You Use, Every Website You Visit, and Everywhere You Go in the Physical World
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November 3, 2023The All-Time Best Moments from America’s Got Lettuce
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February 13, 2023Introducing Total Crap, the First Magazine Written Entirely by AI
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September 10, 2021Ted Lasso Is a Shining Example of Kindness and Decency, and Critics Who Disagree Should Burn in Hell Forever
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May 27, 2021An Oral History of the Interstitial Ska Music on Friends
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October 17, 2019My Biggest Regrets About Retiring at 24
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December 18, 2018You Had Mail
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August 15, 2018How to Handle Anxiety About the Toxic Sludge Filling Your Bedroom
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June 19, 2018Eleven Things You Definitely Don’t Know About Nirvana, You Idiot
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 10, 2025As an American Jew, I Feel Completely Reassured for My Safety Now That Trump Has Targeted the Epicenter of American Antisemitism, Columbia University
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March 13, 2025It’s a Shame We Have to Betray Our Allies, Starve the Poor, Halt Scientific Progress, Destroy the Environment, and Eliminate the Freedoms Enshrined in the Bill of Rights, but at Least My Investment Portfolio Is Also Tanking
Recently
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu
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March 27, 2025We Are the People Who Buy Red Delicious Apples
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March 27, 2025A Letter from Believer Editor Daniel Gumbiner