McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Jonathan Zeller
Jonathan Zeller is a writer, editor, and comedian who’s contributed to National Lampoon, the New York Times, and Teen Vogue.
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January 14, 2025One Upside of the Total Collapse of Civilization Is We Don’t Have to Be Woke Anymore
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November 19, 2024I Just Found Out That the Serving Size Is Ten Almonds, But I’ll Eat as Many as I Want
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September 24, 2024Book Review: The Great Gatsby by the Xerox 914 Photocopier
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June 26, 2024Calm Down—Your Phone Isn’t Listening to Your Conversations. It’s Just Tracking Everything You Type, Every App You Use, Every Website You Visit, and Everywhere You Go in the Physical World
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November 3, 2023The All-Time Best Moments from America’s Got Lettuce
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February 13, 2023Introducing Total Crap, the First Magazine Written Entirely by AI
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September 10, 2021Ted Lasso Is a Shining Example of Kindness and Decency, and Critics Who Disagree Should Burn in Hell Forever
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May 27, 2021An Oral History of the Interstitial Ska Music on Friends
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October 17, 2019My Biggest Regrets About Retiring at 24
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December 18, 2018You Had Mail
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August 15, 2018How to Handle Anxiety About the Toxic Sludge Filling Your Bedroom
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June 19, 2018Eleven Things You Definitely Don’t Know About Nirvana, You Idiot
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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April 1, 2025I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
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April 3, 2025President Trump’s Tariffs Will Help America Win the War Against Birds
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April 9, 2025US News & World Report’s Best Remaining Colleges, 2028