The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Jonathan Zeller
Jonathan Zeller is a writer, editor, and comedian who’s contributed to National Lampoon, the New York Times, and Teen Vogue.
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January 14, 2025One Upside of the Total Collapse of Civilization Is We Don’t Have to Be Woke Anymore
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November 19, 2024I Just Found Out That the Serving Size Is Ten Almonds, But I’ll Eat as Many as I Want
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September 24, 2024Book Review: The Great Gatsby by the Xerox 914 Photocopier
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June 26, 2024Calm Down—Your Phone Isn’t Listening to Your Conversations. It’s Just Tracking Everything You Type, Every App You Use, Every Website You Visit, and Everywhere You Go in the Physical World
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December 29, 2023Introducing Total Crap, the First Magazine Written Entirely by AI
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November 3, 2023The All-Time Best Moments from America’s Got Lettuce
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September 10, 2021Ted Lasso Is a Shining Example of Kindness and Decency, and Critics Who Disagree Should Burn in Hell Forever
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May 27, 2021An Oral History of the Interstitial Ska Music on Friends
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October 17, 2019My Biggest Regrets About Retiring at 24
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December 18, 2018You Had Mail
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August 15, 2018How to Handle Anxiety About the Toxic Sludge Filling Your Bedroom
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June 19, 2018Eleven Things You Definitely Don’t Know About Nirvana, You Idiot
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally