ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Keith James
Keith is a writer from San Diego. He has written for Bleacher Report and Weekly Humorist. Keith will be releasing his second novel COMMUNITY POOL through Humorist Books this summer. You can find more of his work on Beef City Bounce House.
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June 21, 2024You Really Want to Start Skateboarding in Your Midthirties? Here Are Five Picks for Relaxing Outdoor Chairs Instead
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January 4, 2022I’m HBO Max, and Oh My God, What Is It Now?
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November 29, 2021Wake Up, You are Joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe and You Need to Start Taking Steroids Right Now
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November 9, 2021I Am Godzilla, King of Monsters, and I, Too, Had a Brief Relationship with Pete Davidson
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August 25, 2021Details Regarding Timothy’s Moby-Dick-Themed Bar Mitzvah
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August 11, 2021I Used My Wife’s Vibrating Dildo to Achieve My Second Prostate Orgasm and Now I’m on a Train Going to Hogwarts
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June 2, 2021Best STEM Toys For One-Year-Olds, Also, Calm Down
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April 8, 2020I Am Ying Ying the Panda, and I Think You Know How My Quarantine Project Is Going
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January 14, 2020I Am the L.L. Bean Catalog, and I Have Chosen Pete Buttigieg as My King
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October 7, 2019I Am Godzilla, King of Monsters, and I Too Was Contacted By the Trump Administration to Investigate Hunter Biden
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September 18, 2019The Five Best US Cities for Concrete Dick Slabs
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July 31, 2019I Took the “Discover Your Patronus” Test On Pottermore and Got Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy
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August 15, 2024If Tim Walz Is America’s Dad, These Are America’s Other Family Members
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August 23, 2024We Have Updated Our Children’s Menu Options to Better Reflect What We See Your Children Doing in Our Restaurant
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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August 30, 2024New School Year Drop-Off and Pick-Up Rules
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September 6, 2024As a Feminist, I Believe a Woman Can Be Miserable Whether She Is Childless or Not
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September 6, 2024Which Emojis Are Best for a Layoff Email?
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September 5, 2024This is NOT a Tradwife’s Confession About the Joys of Back-to-School
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September 5, 2024Short Conversations with Poets: Zoë Hitzig