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Articles by
Kurt Zemaitaitis
Kurt is a musician and comedy writer originally from Chicago currently residing in Rhode Island. He has written for Slackjaw, Points in Case, The Daily Drunk, Robot Butt, and other sites.
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May 23, 2023End-of-Year Dorm Move-Out Procedures That Will Make This Anything But a Smooth Process
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June 23, 2022Before You Enjoy Your Summer, Here Are Some Minor Budget Cuts for Next Year’s High School Music Program
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November 18, 2021An Oral History of John Philip Sousa’s Band, the Hardest-Partying Eighty-Piece Marching Band Ever
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October 21, 2021Due to Current Travel Mandates We’ve Decided to Make COVID-19 Testing at Our Airport a Complete Nightmare
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September 30, 2021Rick Steves Casually Reviews Dangerous Fantasy Locations
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August 30, 2021Guidelines for New Adjunct Faculty to Help You Feel Kind of Welcome
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June 7, 2021Cursed Volcano Or Not, We’re Buying This House Sight Unseen
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu
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March 27, 2025We Are the People Who Buy Red Delicious Apples
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March 27, 2025A Letter from Believer Editor Daniel Gumbiner