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Articles by
Sam Shelstad
Sam Shelstad lives in Toronto, Ontario. His first book of short stories, Cop House, was released this fall by Nightwood Editions.
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December 21, 2017This Year’s Top-Selling Book is an Accent Pillow
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July 18, 2017A Few Questions Before We Decide to Let You Join Our Running Club
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December 14, 2015Trampolines Were Supposed to Bring Us Closer Together, But I Think They’re Driving Us Further Apart
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July 6, 2015Pool Rules
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February 27, 2015Sentient Cloud of Poisonous Gas Seeks Companion
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July 2, 2014Minutes from a Town Hall Meeting of My Anxieties
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August 28, 2013This Deer Won’t Look Both Ways
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January 17, 2013The Right Time
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
Recently
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner